Pornography and Low Self-Esteem

Pornography is nothing new. It is very old and there were pagan religions in antiquity that used pornography in their rites. With the advent of photography, then movies, and now Internet, accessing porn has been made easier and easier.

In years of ministering deliverance mainly to women, I have encountered cases of married women who have had very low self-esteem. Low self-esteem, if allowed to fester, can motivate bizarre behavior.

Both low self-esteem and pornography are demons. The enemy can use the porn demon in a husband to really create demonic self-esteem problems in his wife. The whole process leads to broken marriages and destroyed lives.

Married men who are into porn know it is wrong, so they will try to cover their tracks and not leave evidence of their obsessive addiction. All the wife knows is that the husband has lost interest in her, and she feels rejected. The husband avoids any discussion of the subject, but eventually the wife will demand an explanation. The husband will lay the blame on the wife, saying, “You are not attractive enough”, or “You are too fat”, or “You do not satisfy me”.

The woman believes the lies and now looks at herself in a new light. “I thought my body was ok…” or “I didn’t’ think I was that fat…” or “Other men have found me attractive in the past…” then “I guess I really am not attractive” and “I guess I really am fat and ugly”.

She believes the lies and her self-esteem goes to rock bottom, while the feelings of rejection rise. Then she might think that perhaps there is another woman. But she does not find evidence–no lipstick on the collar, no strange perfume. She might spend months torturing herself trying to find out about the “other woman”, and the husband, of course, denies it very convincingly because he is not dealing with a “real” woman.

Another thing she might notice is a financial problem. Where is the money going? The wife might think the money is going to the “other woman”. A man addicted to porn may spend a lot of money on his addiction.

When a woman tells me her husband has rejected her and is not happy with the way she looks, I ask her if she suspects that he might be into pornography. Many times the answer is, “Oh no, he is not,” and it might take months or even years for her to find out that he is.

So, the man looks at porn on the computer (or somewhere else) and masturbates. What he sees on the computer does not look like his wife at all, so he satisfies himself with those images and not with his wife. Now notice, what he sees with his eye excites him and he brings relief with his own hand. There is an eye-hand connection.

I mention this because Christian men who fall into this pattern think masturbation is ok, because after all, they are not going to bed with another woman, right? So it is not adultery, right? Wrong! It IS adultery. Christian man, have you not read the Gospels? (See scripture references at the end of this article.) Christian woman, adultery is a biblical basis for divorce. You don’t have to live with your husband’s sin, much less sleep with the man!

Succubus

This super-demon will make “her” entrance for sure. The man who masturbates and is addicted to porn will be visited by Succubus in his sleep. (A woman who masturbates will be visited by Incubus.) Succubus will give the man pleasure in his own bed, while he sleeps.

He might like to call it a wet dream, but in reality he is having sex with a demon. It does not matter if he is a Christian; the demon does not care. In fact, the demon prefers a Christian man because this will eventually lead him to the place called Hell, if he does not repent.

A Christian woman I ministered to discovered her Christian husband’s addiction and divorced him. She went through the trauma of rejection first before she found the cause of the rejection. It was not long after the man moved out of the house that she awoke one night because of a Succubus visitation. The bed, on the side where her ex used to sleep, was being depressed as if someone was sitting or laying there. She commanded the spirit to leave in the name of Jesus, and it left and never came back. The Succubus was looking for him!

In some cases, Christian women cannot get Godly counseling at their church because the pastors or ministers are into pornography themselves. They are not and cannot be objective in their counseling, much less Godly.

A young woman I ministered to told me that her husband wanted her to perform perverted sexual acts, and she did not want to do them. I asked her if she had gone to her pastor about the problem. Her answer was that she and her husband had gone to counsel with the pastor and his wife, and they were in agreement that she had to do them. This couple eventually divorced.

A woman who goes through all the trauma and pain of a porn-caused divorce not only needs Godly counseling but also a lot of deliverance, because demons have entered her from or because of her husband. The first demon that should be cast out of her is the evil soul of her husband, by breaking the evil soul tie between her and her husband in the name of Jesus Christ.

Job 31:1-12 deals with this problem. Some Bible versions are clearer than others in treating the subject matter. There is a Spanish version that is extremely clear. I want you to take note to the references to the eye and the hand which are in most versions. Also observe and discern the Biblical curse that comes upon those who practice pornography/masturbation.

1 I made a covenant with mine eyes; How then should I look upon a virgin? 2 For what is the portion from God above, And the heritage from the Almighty on high? 3 Is it not calamity to the unrighteous, And disaster to the workers of iniquity? 4 Doth not he see my ways, And number all my steps? 5 If I have walked with falsehood, And my foot hath hasted to deceit 6 (Let me be weighed in an even balance, That God may know mine integrity); 7 If my step hath turned out of the way, And my heart walked after mine eyes, And if any spot hath cleaved to my hands: 8 Then let me sow, and let another eat; Yea, let the produce of my field be rooted out. 9 If my heart hath been enticed unto a woman, And I have laid wait at my neighbor’s door; 10 Then let my wife grind unto another, And let others bow down upon her. 11 For that were a heinous crime; Yea, it were an iniquity to be punished by the judges: 12 For it is a fire that consumeth unto Destruction, And would root out all mine increase. (ASV Job 31:1-12)

27 Ye have heard that it was said, Thou shalt not commit adultery: 28 but I say unto you, that every one that looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart. 29 And if thy right eye causeth thee to stumble, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not thy whole body be cast into hell. 30 And if thy right hand causeth thee to stumble, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not thy whole body go into hell. (ASV Matthew 5:27-30)

Compare Job 31:1 with Matthew 5:28: looking upon a woman “to lust after her”. Some versions added “with lust” to Job 31:1, because this is what the original author was talking about.

Job 31:5 refers to the falsehood and deceit that an adulterer deals his wife, whether his adultery is with a real woman and real sex, or by images of porn and masturbation.

Job 31:7 refers to his heart following his eyes of lust, and his hand becoming spotted by the sin of masturbation. Compare to Matthew 5:29- 30, where Jesus advises that it is preferable that you pluck your eye out and cut your hand off, if that is going to stop you from the sin of lust and masturbation, because this sin, called a heinous crime in Job 31:11, will lead a Christian man to lose his salvation.

Remember, once saved, not necessarily always saved. It depends on how you live your life.